Opticians Story

Suppose you’ve been having trouble with your eyes and you decide to go to the Opticians for help.

After briefly listening to your complaint, he takes his glasses off and hands them to you. “Put these on,” he says. “I’ve worn these glasses for 10 years now and they’ve really helped me. I have an extra pair at home: you can have these.”

So you put them on and it makes the problem worse. “This is terrible!” you exclaim. “I can’t see a thing!”.

“Well, what’s wrong?” he asks. “They work great for me. Try harder.”

“I am trying,” you insist. “Everything is a blur.”

“Well, what’s the matter with you? Think positively.”

“Okay. I positively can’t see a thing.”

“Boy, you are ungrateful!” he chides. “After all I’ve done to help you!”

What are the chances you would go back to the same Optician the next time you needed help? Not very good I would imagine. You don’t have much confidence in someone who doesn’t diagnose before he or she prescribes.

But how often do we diagnose before we prescribe in communication?

“Come on honey, tell me how you feel. I know it’s hard, but I’ll try to understand.”

Oh, I don’t know mum. You’d think it was stupid.”

“Of course I wouldn’t! You can tell me. Honey, no one cares for you as much as I do. I’m only interested in your welfare. What’s making you so unhappy?”

“Oh, I don’t know”.

“Come on honey, what is it?”

“Well to tell you the truth, I just don’t like school any more.”

“What?” you reply incredulously. “What do you mean you don’t like school? And after all the sacrifices we’ve made for your education! Education is the foundation of your future. If you’d apply yourself like your older sister does, you’d do better and then you’d like school. Time and time again we’ve told you to settle down. You’ve got the ability, but you just don’t apply yourself. Try harder. Get a positive attitude about it.”

Pause…

“Now go ahead. Tell me how you feel.”

The above is an extract from Stephen Coveys world famous book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, which has sold over 15 million copies worldwide".